How to Prevent and Overcome Sexual Sins

First Thessalonians 4:3-5, “For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that you abstain from fornication; that each one of you know how to possess himself of his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in the passion of lust, even as the Gentiles who know not God;”

Most Christians are not prepared to fight against the sexual sins of this world. The issue is still at some churches thought to be inappropriate to openly teach on, but the necessity of teaching on this subject is clear with apparent sexual immorality running through all of Christendom. The Christian man who can honestly say that he has never lusted after a woman is rare if such a man exists. Women will certainly find these words useful too. This post is specifically to do what most of the dozens of books and websites have not done to provide the knowledge necessary to stop this prominent sin. Telling someone to read more, pray more, be saved, go to church, and live right are good things to do, but are of no use unless some others steps are accomplished too. Keeping from sin has got to be done. Fornication is not to be named among Christians being that Christians are saints (Eph. 5:3). How will the blood of Christ wash away our sexual sins unless we walk in the light (1 John 1:7)?

There’s not really any one particular person or generation to blame besides ourselves individually. Yes it would have been nice to have been isolated and kept from exposure and even abuse. Still we have to take responsibility for ourselves. Many Christians are willfully ignorant of the Scriptures, lacking in self-control, and are not living by the Spirit. Not that sexual sins have been easy to deal with. It is true that the previous generation had it easier and the one before that even easier being less exposed to sexual sins being openly unacceptable. Therefore it is understandable that this sin has crept up on ignorant Christians across the world in an openly sinful society with media advertisements of sex everywhere. Let’s address this problem asking “What actions are sexually immoral?”, and see what the Spirit teaches in the Scriptures on how to prevent sexual immorality.

What Actions are Sexually Immoral?

Sadly, many Christians debate this or rather justify sexual sins. Sexual sin like most sin is rationalized. The New Testament Scriptures present sexual immorality, “fornication” from the Greek “porneia“, as already defined and it has been in the Law of Moses. In Leviticus 18, 19:29, 20; Deuteronomy 22:5, 22-30; fornication is: adultery, extra-marital sex including premarital sex, incest, rape, sex during menstrual period, homosexuality, bestiality, and prostitution.

The New Testament simply defines fornication as any defilement of the marriage bed [including homosexuality] (Gen. 2:24; Matt. 5:27-28, 19:5; 1 Cor. 6:16; Eph. 5:31; Heb. 13:4). Sexual immorality includes lust, polygamy, and all mutual arousal and stimulation, like oral sex, which all are outside of marriage. There should not be any debate concerning these things.

How to Prevent and Overcome Sexual Sins

*You have to recognize that your heart is the source of this sin. It is not just your flesh warring against your mind. Your heart is corrupted by giving in to sin and it is filled with sin despite that you attend church every week, read the Bible everyday, pray at every meal, and have your mind continually on the spiritual yet you drift into this sin without warning. Know the source of sexual sin. It is in your heart. Fornication comes from the heart. Jesus said in Matthew 15:19-20

“For out of the heart come forth evil imaginations, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, railings: these are the things which defile the man; but to eat with unwashed hands defile not the man.”

Know the path of sin. “But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire” (Jam. 1:14). What can be done? How can we change our hearts?

*You have to accept fornication as a sin and set your mind against sin. Without a commitment and desire to live sinless, then stopping oneself from sexual sin cannot be accomplished. Romans 12:1-2,

“I appeal to you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, pleasing to God, which is your reasonable service. And be not conformed according to this world: but be you transformed by the renewing of your mind, and you may prove what is the good and pleasing and perfect will of God.”

Obedience to this Scripture is essential. Commit yourself to be a living sacrifice. Offer yourself before God. Continue to renew your mind on this resolve, so as not to be conformed to this world. CHANGE YOUR MIND TO BE TRANSFORMED! Accept that “…the body is not for fornication, but for the Lord; and the Lord for the body:” (1 Cor. 6:13). Follow Galatians 5:24, which states, “And they that are of Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with the passions and the lusts thereof.” See the mind and its imaginations are critical here to prevent and overcome sexual sins as Romans 8:5 states “For they that are after the flesh mind the things of the flesh; but they that are after the Spirit the things of the Spirit.” CAST DOWN YOUR EVIL IMAGINATIONS BY TAKING EVERY THOUGHT CAPTIVE! This is easy to say, but hard to do. You can take captive your imaginations more than you think. Second Corinthians 10:5, “casting down imaginations, and every high thing that is exalted against the knowledge of God, and bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ“. Remember that when Jesus was tempted that He countered the thought with a better thought from Scripture, and not by blocking the thought. Don’t feel guilty about being tempted with bad thoughts. Jesus was tempted by bad thoughts. This is comes down to purifying imaginations like fantasies and daydreams. Purity in thought is a part of obeying Christ. See Philippians 4:8 teaches, “Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honorable, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things“.

*Have godly sorrow for your sins since “godly sorrow works repentance unto salvation” (2 Cor. 7:10). You’re salvation is on the line and guilt works repentance. Everyone should be relieved that the punishment for fornication and adultery is no longer execution (Lev. 20:10-12, 21:9, Deut. 22:21-22), but still know that fornicators will go to Hell suffering the consequences of spiritual death (1 Cor. 6:9-10, Gal. 5:19-21, Eph. 5:5, Col. 3:5-6, Rev. 21:8).

*Really obey the Gospel. Of first importance, the three components of the Gospel that Paul presents in 1 Corinthians 15:1-4, by which Christians are saved. This Gospel is the death, burial, and resurrection. Obedience is presented in Romans 6:3-6 and Colossians 2:12-13 as dying to one’s sins, being buried in the waters of baptism, and being resurrected to the new life. There’s the commitment and a necessary change of the mind to die to your sins and live the resurrected life in Christ. You’re not going to get anywhere without obeying Jesus’ command to be baptized (Matt. 28:19). “Arise and be baptized, and wash away your sins, calling on the name of the Lord” (Acts 22:16).

*Walk in the Spirit. The Christian life is one of walking by the Spirit. Galatians 5:16, “But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh.” You have to live the life. Know the fruits of the Spirit and keep them: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Gal. 5:22-23). Live the Christian life in prayer, reading Scripture, doing benevolence, evangelizing, and assembling. Now these things of having your mind set against the sin and living a good life may not be enough since things are not complete for some to prevent sexual sin, so let’s continue unto the most neglected actions to prevent sexual sins.

*Make no provision for the flesh. In other words, don’t leave even one path open to fall back into sexual sin. This is essential. It’s time for many Christians to quit trying to stand face to face with sexual sin. See, “fleshly lusts…war against the soul” (1 Pet. 2:11). This is no easy battle. If Christians can stand down sexual sin, then why do the Scriptures say, “Flee from sexual immorality” (1 Cor. 6:18)? You have to retreat to flank sin and the wicked one. Why do you think Joseph fled from Potiphar’s wife (Gen. 39:8-13)? Was Joseph not spiritually strong? He was strong enough to flee.

We have desires and those desires can give birth to sin unto spiritual death (James 1:14-15). Therefore do this, “put you on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill the lusts thereof” (Rom. 13:14). Why would the Scriptures instruct to make no provision for the flesh when it is possible to always withstand sin? Are the Scriptures wrong about lusts of the flesh? The fact of the matter is that doing nothing is not going to aid you in overcoming these sins. Jesus said in Matthew 18:9, “And if your eye causes you to stumble, pluck it out, and cast it from you: it is good for you to enter into life with one eye, rather than having two eyes to be cast into the hell of fire.” Jesus also stated in Matthew 19:12, “For there are eunuchs, that were so born from their mother’s womb: and there are eunuchs, that were made eunuchs by men: and there are eunuchs, that made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.” Hopefully, it will not come down to such drastic measures. I believe that Christ is urging us with these statements to do something and to make a great sacrifice to overcome sin. We must make no provision for the flesh. First Thessalonians 5:22 states, “abstain from every form of evil.” Let’s address the temptations of each of these and how to make no provision for the flesh.

*More on How to “Make not Provision of the Flesh”

- Starting with the internet, even TV and magazines. Pornography is a sin for which most men and even some women struggle. This is probably the most common sin of Christian men. This sin is the result of having made provision for the lusts of the flesh. Having the internet unfiltered with no accountability is like having a stack of pornographic magazines under one’s bed, and telling yourself that its alright and that you’ll never be tempted to look at them. Be strong enough to make no provision as Solomon instructs not to go to the street of the adulterous woman (Prov. 7). The street of the adulterous and strange woman can be the internet and television, so don’t let her street end at your house. Many find it easy to control their hands from exchanging money for pornographic magazines, but struggle to control their fingers from typing garbage into into the address bar or search engine. One thing that you can do is realize that the gate to this sin are your typing fingers and your mouse cursor. Fighting the temptation to type is reasonably a lot easier than fighting the sin while your lust drunk and getting your fix.

There is a way to prevent these sins. Get rid of the magazines and videos. Get rid of the bad cable channels or get rid of cable TV all together. Putting the computer in the common room of the house can work part of the time, but it’s rarely enough. Many dealing with this sin have friends and family keep them accountable even by software. This can work, but for many it fails when the tempted person finds the easy ways around such software and accountability. Getting an internet filter that cannot be seen or easily removed is good, but these can be bypassed too. Still it is great to have a filter. Regarding internet filters, OpenDNS.com is one of the best if not the best and it is free. Use a Scripture, a reference to Christ for the password, or use a list numbers and letters that you will not remember and send the password to 2 or 3 friends so that you don’t have access to bypassing it. The only other alternative is to get rid of internet connection in the home. You need to seriously consider this. It is possible to get by without the internet in your home. Just use the internet at work or the public library.

- On dating and engagement, remember “make not provision for the flesh” (Rom. 13:14). Double dates and meeting in public places is the only way to date, but there is something else that can make it much easier. Draw a line to not cross. Do it on the third date. Physical relationships between a man and woman progress. The progression of passion is a fact of how God has designed man and woman. Why is it that we should flee this and not stand and face it? Our flesh and our mind battle against one another (Rom. 7:15). It is extremely dangerous for a couple to be alone for even an hour. Sexual desires reach a point of sexual intoxication when one cannot think clearly. Try talking sense into someone who is drunk. How can sensual drunkenness be prevented? We must keep from the arousal of lust. The usual physical progression of a relationship is close to this: eye contact, arm around shoulder, holding hands, kissing, passionate kissing, petting, taking off clothing, stimulation, and intercourse. At what point, does one quit thinking clearly? What causes sexual arousal and getting “love-drunk”? Decide and know exactly when to stop along the progression and let your significant other know too. If they pass it, separate from them for some time. Most would point to passionate kissing. At passionate kissing, rational thinking is often thrown away as the couple becomes “love-drunk”. Can a drunk think clearly? Prevent this action and prevent the progression into sin by not kissing passionately. On top of this, never be alone. Then, there is another alternative. It is marriage.

- On marriage, First Corinthians 7:2, “But, because of fornications, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband.” Here is an answer to most sexual passions. Marriage certainly makes it easier. Now, temptations can arise from not fulfilling the marriage rights. A successful marriage based on rendering what is due and obeying Ephesians 5:23-31 will usually prevent these sexual sins. Now and all the time, “make not provision of the flesh” (Rom. 13:14). Don’t privately meet with anyone of the opposite sex that you are attracted to or could be. Most cases of adultery are because of the lack of attention, affection, and admiration from the other spouse. A little attention, affection, and admiration from someone else welcomes an affair, and a little attention, affection, and admiration toward your spouse pushes such temptations away.

- Please, write down what applies to you especially the verses. Even underline the Scriptures in your favorite Bible. Keep these thoughts in as many places as possible to be seen. Read these points over and over again and memorize the verses, and these things will help you with sobriety. Saturate your mind. From other discussions with those conquering these sins, 2 Corinthians 10:5 is a very powerful passage to memorize and quote when tempted.

It’s time to put down the weight of sin (Heb. 12:1). Know what sexual sin is, set your mind against it, live the Christian life, and make no provision for the flesh. If you have not already, obey the Gospel for the forgiveness of  sins (Rom. 6:3-7). Believers walk in the light and confess your sins in prayer for forgiveness (1 John 1:7 & 9). May God bless you.